Thanks to the internet, accessing pornography is easier than ever. The days have gone of surreptitiously buying x-rated films and top-shelf magazines from seedy sex shops and corner stores. In 2019 there were over 42 billion visits to Pornhub, which means there was an average of 115 million visits per day. So if you’ve been indulging in a bit of cheeky pornography, you’re certainly not alone.
It is, however, important to recognise that pornography is a form of entertainment. And just like Hollywood movies, real life is far removed from what happens on set. A study from Dr.Felix consisting of 10,000 porn stars was taken to compare porn vs reality, and the data images shown in the article are extracted from this.
There are a lot of things that are wrong with porn, and the reason I say wrong is because of how people are influenced by porn. Like stated prior, porn is simply a form of entertainment. This article will cover the lack of foreplay shown during porn, the pressure on men to last long in bed, the ‘perfect’ body image, the huge lack of condoms, the sexualisation of lesbians, non-existent pubic hair, and the sexpectations porn gives the ordinary person.
Lack of Foreplay
Foreplay in porn often lasts for no time at all, and can even be edited out completely. Female porn stars always seem ready and raring to go from the off. However, for most women, foreplay is the key to good sex. According to a 2017 online survey by FPA, 83.2% of women need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, and almost 80% said they couldn’t climax from penetrative sex alone. So foreplay is pretty important when it comes to being able to get a woman off.
In nigh-on every single porno, every woman seems to orgasm at least once – regardless of foreplay. This can mislead both men and women into thinking this is the reality, when it’s not. Porn is a film, it is directed, it is edited, everything is made to look as good as it possibly can to its target audience – it is NOT reality.
This leads to women thinking there’s something wrong with them for not reaching orgasm, when it’s perfectly normal if they don’t. Meanwhile porn influences men to believe that women find it easy to orgasm, and put pressure on their partner to orgasm. If you read my article, The Female Orgasm and Squirting: The Truths, that explains in more depth about the female orgasm and how both males and females perceive it and the realities surrounding it.
Lack of Condoms
Why does nobody wear condoms in porn? Considering porn advocates sex you would think the people in the industry would use their power to advocate safe and consensual sex? Especially considering how many young people watch porn.
Most people begin to watch porn when they start going through puberty, as they then start getting sexually inquisitive. The average age for a girl starting puberty is 11 and the average age for a boy is 12 according to the NHS. Porn is so easily accessible, and straight off the back, these kids aren’t even going to know about condom use when it comes to becoming sexually active as they get older – unless they’re taught. Even then, the way porn normalises unprotected sex is definitely influencing young and naive teens all across the world.
Condoms not only protect you from getting pregnant but they also help protect against STI’s and if you’re having sex with no cover on you’re at a much high risk than you are with one on. WEAR CONDOMS!! Another problem with this, is that men especially, when they start having sex, if they don’t use condoms from the off, they get used to this idea of wanting to ‘feel’ the inside of a woman and therefore with every sexual encounter they don’t want to use a condom because porn has normalised unprotected sex so much that people think it’s weird/ unsexy to use a condom.
If both partners are monogamous and the female is on contraception then yes, you don’t necessarily have to use condoms every time you have sex. However, if you’re with a new partner or sleeping with multiple people you should ALWAYS use a condom. To read more on condoms, you can read my Condoms and Consent article.
The Pressure on Men to Last Long in Bed
The NHS states that a man on average lasts five and a half minutes during a round of intercourse. Men watching porn can feel ashamed that they don’t last as long as male porn stars when, in reality, male porn stars often use Viagra and other treatments to stay erect for longer, and they often stop and start in between film takes.
The ‘Perfect’ Body
There’s a huge lack of diversity in mainstream porn regarding, age, hair colour, skin colour, body shapes and sizes. Regarding to Dr.Felix’s research (picture above), there is an interesting disparity in bra sizes. While the ‘blonde-hair, big-boob’ stereotype of porn actresses persists, the typical porn star is brunette and actually has the same bra size as the average woman of 20 years ago. In reality, the average bra size is a 34DD today, compared to 34B in 1992.
Porn vaginas all look like a perfect blueprint. Many female porn stars have surgery to give themselves ‘designer vaginas’ when in reality, vaginas come in all shapes and sizes, and there’s no such thing as a perfect one – plus everyone has different preferences.
If you’re sick of mainstream porn, you’re in luck because ‘feminist porn’ is now a thing. Feminist porn hires a plethora of diverse porn stars, so you can enjoy wanking over more relatable people and sex scenarios. Feminist porn creator Tristan Taormino describes to Cosmopolitan in depth, what feminist porn is and how to find it, “Feminist porn features minorities underrepresented in mainstream porn, so you may see people of different gender identities and expressions, races, body types, or abilities. Those differences will not be fetishized or stereotyped as some mainstream porn does (with race for example).” Plus, feminist porn tends to feature actual female orgasms – not faked.
Apparently unless you have a giant cock, a woman won’t be pleasured by you (according to porn anyway). Whether it’s really thick, really long or (mainly) both – porn stars often have a lot larger phallus than the ordinary man. This can put pressure on both women’s expectations and a mans confidence when it comes to getting down and dirty. However male porn stars are often hired for that reason – because they have a big piece. Plus, camera angles can make a penis look larger than it actually is – however this can make men think that size matters and that only big cocks can give pleasure. In real life, great sex has a lot more to do with what you do with it, rather than the size of it. It’s all about how you use it.
Muscles and lean figures feature a lot in porn, with the typical porn actor sporting the desirable inverted triangle shape – broad shoulders and a tapered waist. In reality, most men have a rectangular figure, featuring a flat torso and minor change in shape.
Both men and women should avoid comparing their bodies to a porn star’s. Like models, they are paid to look a certain way. Women may go for the god-like muscly figure in porn, but the truth is that nothing is sexier than being comfortable in your own skin.
Pubic Hair – Where Is It ??
It seems you only get the bush if you ask for it on porn, otherwise all mainstream videos are traditionally smooth bald patches. Women aren’t always shaved when it comes to sex, because sometimes sex is random, most women aren’t having sex to be performing on camera and get paid.
I can appreciate pubic hair has become unfashionable in a sense now, but it shouldn’t make someone less desired if they choose to keep it. As mentioned in my article about The Female Bush, it states that pubic lice are apparently now ‘going extinct’ due to the hefty amount of people maintaining a full Hollywood and excessively grooming downstairs. Being fully shaved is hugely influenced from the porn star aesthetic of not a speck of pube on their groin area. But most people have pubes, so where’s their representation on porn? Other than in a fetish category.
The Sexualisation of Lesbians
Lesbians have long been sexualised by society. Lesbians are women who are attracted to other women, if they fancied men they would be bisexual. So why do so many men enjoy the thought of sexually entertaining two lesbians that would be completely uninterested in them in real life? Why is there so much lesbian porn that involves men?
Unfortunately for those men, lesbians definitely don’t want or need their cock in order to have a good time. In fact, the high lesbian orgasm rates prove it. According to a study, amongst women, lesbians orgasm most when sexually intimate – with 86% reporting that they usually or always do. This is followed by bisexual women – a large drop down at 66% – and finally straight women at 65%. It seems when a man is added into the mix, the likelihood of orgasm significantly decreases for women.
Sex can be clumsy, messy, slippery, awkward and even boring sometimes. Never have expectations for your first time to look like a porn scene or a sex scene off a rom-com, because it is highly unlikely that is what you’ll experience.
Fitting in with the sexpectations category is the literal sex expectations that have been created by porn – anal being a prime example. This data shows you the top ten sex acts done by women in porn vs top ten sex acts done by women in reality – and the proof is in the pudding. Women on porn do anything they’re told to do (according to the viewer) however that’s not what most women want.
Porn is a fantasy, and with fantasies, most people don’t bring it into their real life. Just because a woman on porn does double penetration doesn’t mean every woman is happy to do that. Every person is an individual, don’t let porn manipulate you into having high expectations for people’s boundaries – everything should be consensual, and talked about before if needs be. Never go into a sexual engagement with expectations, especially expectations that have been influenced from porn.
Basically, porn films are just that – films – and, just like any other film, the truth can often be sacrificed for a story line. If you take everything with a pinch of salt and instead get to know the real facts, you’ll be well on your way to a healthy, happy and fulfilling sex life. Enjoy porn for what is it – but just know that it’s not real – it’s just designed to make you think it’s real whilst you’re watching it.